Kyle, I wish you the best

This just in...Party Down is over. For good. I honestly feel like crying, but that might be a little bit of the hangover too. In honor of the show, I will now list a few of my favorite quotes. Well, my favorites that I can either remember and/or find on the internet. Sadly there aren't that many and I have a bad memory.

Lydia: Have you seen Three Men and a Little Lady? That's Ted Danson.
Casey: No, that's Steve Guttenberg.
Lydia: Jewishy much? No wonder he changed his name to Danson.

Roman: I thought they were cool with sex, but they're fuckin' stuck-up bitches.
Kyle: No, they're cool with sex. Why do you think they got into porn?
Roman: I don't know, because their uncles raped them?

Kyle: You know, acting is like crime. But instead of using guns or clubs, I assault you with emotions.

And that's it, that's all I've got. Now enjoy this video.



RIP Party Down.

R.

Ooohh baby baby it's a wild world

The subject has nothing to do with what I'm about to write, I just had Cat Stevens in my head. I wouldn't want anyone to assume what follows is my idea of a "wild world."

But first, this picture makes me laugh.



Oh dear, I feel like shit today. Yesterday I updated my facebook status (nerd alert) to say "Tuesday is the new Friday" then proceeded to treat it as such. Today, I pay the price. The funny thing is I was about to type that I can't handle it like I could when I was younger but I think I've actually gotten better over the years. I'm improving with age, like a fine wine. Not that I would know anything about that, I buy what's cheap and/or on sale. Barefoot wine 2 for $10 at CVS. Just sayin'.

I really want to go see Chips the Musical at the Falcon Theatre. I have a feeling I will never actually go, but talking about it makes me feel like there could be a slight possibility. But in my life, it's the thought that counts. Actually following through is just a bonus. Like the time I wanted to go to a hootenanny. I just wanted to go so I can say I went, because I don't actually know what a hootenanny involves, but I'm picturing people playing music out of jugs and some good ol' fashioned knee slapping. I actually just googled the words "hootenanny los angeles" and apparently there are many types, including but not limited to, a tomato hootenanny, a pancake hootenanny, and even a facebook page called LA Hootenanny. I think I might have to thumbs up that page.

R.

The Life & Style Edition

So basically I used to love buying trashy magazines like Us Weekly or In Touch. It was easy reading, perfect for a day at the beach or a plane ride. But for the past few years I haven't been able to bring myself to buy one because of the cover stories. Sure, there would still be some entertaining crap inside as there has always been, but basically reality stars have taken over the magazines and I can't condone that. If Kate Gosselin is on the cover, I will not buy it. Period. But even on the inside it's just more stories of other reality stars. The reason I'm saying any of this is that while flying to Dallas this weekend I caved and bought Life & Style. On the cover: Kristen Cavalari (sp? don't care) and Beyonce (not sure how to do the accent over the e but I think you know who I'm talking about) and the headline "last-minute bikini body." Was I really going to read this for weight loss tips? No, because I don't have money for a personal trainer so it's all moot. But it was the only one that didn't have Jake and Vienna on the cover. I shudder to think that I know their names.

I will now share with you some of the highlights from the magazine. Hopefully I can include photos if google search is kind to me.

1. A picture of Jennifer Garner and what they say is her 4 yr old Violet feeding a horse. She is obviously not holding a 4 year old, it's the other one, whatever her name is. Way to fuck up right off the bat, L & S.

2. Is it just me or does Kourtney Kardashian's baby daddy look like Patrick Bateman? That's not a compliment, I'm not saying he looks like Christian Bale. I'm saying he looks like he would kill a bitch.

3. There is a series of photos of soccer stars showing off their abs. Maybe I should be paying attention to the world cup, this looks like it happens a lot. (this is the one thing the magazine does right)

4. Jake and Vienna SPLIT! I fucking read the whole article. I feel so dirty.

5. Jeremy London got fat, but I think that's what happens to drug addicts. Although I think meth makes you skinny, so he should maybe switch to that now.

6. Oh yes, my favorite part. "Britney Ruins her Boyfriend." On the left a picture of a clean cut boyfriend with the caption "Then- August 2005 Squeky-Clean"...and on the right a picture of him looking like a disheveled Wayne Coyne after he "kidnapped" Jeremy London and forced him to do crack with him with the caption "Now- June 2010 Full-On Hobo." (I wish I could find the actual picture because it is so much better) I've decided Full-On Hobo is officially the name of my non-existent band.

I'm sure I could go on, but I don't want to.

R.

Are we having fun yet?

Here are a couple things I'm liking today. (with highlights quoted directly from the articles/videos themselves because I'm not clever enough to come up with my own.)

Wax On, F*ck Off.
"I am so bummed :("

Bristol Palin, Actress?
"Even the wooden door behind Bristol is exuding more raw and natural human emotion than her."

Jeremy London's Alleged Kidnapper: We Partied Our Asses Off
"Wait. I thought black people weren’t allowed to talk to the police. You lied to me, The Wire!"

Don't Tread on Me
"straight outta East Texas"
I actually just like this because of the East Texas reference (aka where yours truly originated) and because of the FNL shout out ("This aint Friday Night Lights/but i got the infrared.”) I had to google this Clint Dempsey to even realize he is a soccer player. Obviously I'm not following this whole World Cup hullabaloo that has people waking up at the ass crack of dawn. Yes, I just said hullabaloo.


And here is something I am not liking.

Adam Scott leaving Party Down
Why God Why???? The season finale airs tomorrow (meaning I will be watching on Netflix) and I am now both excited and saddened at the same time. I don't want to imagine a Party Down without Henry. Sure I'll still watch, but it just won't be the same.

R.

Randomness

Fucking. Stupid.

So this is some hard core peer pressure. Jason was always my favorite London anyway, mainly because of Dazed and Confused. I also met him when I was a freshman in college during SXSW...he was there promoting some shitty movie called $pent. I remember it was about a guy with a gambling problem and that's about it. I was with some forgotten friend at the Dog and Duck Pub (we were under 21 and couldn't drink so we just hung around awkwardly) and I think we said something to him like "the movie was really good" or "you were really good in the movie." Whatever was said, it was something along the lines of a lie.

Why would anyone ever eat this unless they were purposely aiming for obesity? I don't even think at my drunkest moment I would eat this, and I've eaten some pretty bad shit when I've been drunk. Seriously, 97 grams of fat. That is in-fucking-sane.

I used to read gossip websites and magazines all the time and I just don't care for it anymore. So I'm always behind on my celebrity updates. But I guess I don't really care about anyone in particular right now. Except for Adam Scott. He's kind of who I'm into right now. Well of people I watch on tv/netflix. I don't know why I even started this paragraph, I really had no point.

R.

Stephen Dorff is filled with rage

I agree with Rosemery, I too am one excited lady.



This looks like it could be Stephen's best work since the role of "Boyfriend" in Britney Spears video for My Prerogative. You kind of need to click on this for the title to make any sense.

R.

I get this feeling that time's just holding me down

Sometimes I like headlines more than I like actually reading the articles. Maybe that's why National Enquirer and The Sun always used to get me when I was a kid as soon as I approached that check out line. But when I read Jerry Seinfeld Calls Lady Gaga a Jerk I didn't need to read on before chuckling to myself. For some reason I pictured Sam Weir ala Freaks and Geeks saying this to any one of the many people who bullied him on the show and that my friends made it all the more amusing. Jerry Seinfeld as Sam Weir versus Lady Gaga as Kim Kelly. The exact quote was "This woman is a jerk. I hate her" but I personally like the idea that he said "you're a jerk" to her face. Also speaking of Gaga, this quote from Rolling Stone has been floating around many a facebook status today: "When I wake up in the morning, I feel just like any other insecure 24-year-old girl. Then I say, 'Bitch, you're Lady GaGa, you get up and walk the walk today." I don't know if I have the attitude or wardrobe to pull off this mantra, but doesn't mean I might not give it a try. Does it matter that I'm 30?

They are remaking Footloose and finally cast their Ren, some dude named Kenny Wormold. Right off the bat- I don't like his last name. I'm repeating it in my head and I just don't like the sound of it. It's definitely no Bacon. Speaking of, here is a little Yacht Rock featuring the aforementioned in the story of how Kenny Loggins wrote the "Footloose" theme song.



I think I already mentioned this yesterday but I have a comedy show tonight and since I've been too lazy to prepare anything, I just printed out my set (written today) and taped it to a series of notecards. Which makes me look like a dork but I can't help that I'm organized and like to type things. But now I don't even have the energy to look at it and thus become vaguely familiar. Sure it's my own words and thoughts, but still, going in front of a crowd of up to 20 people (!) can be nerve racking and make me lose my train of thought. Thus the note cards. I'm pretty sure I'm just going to do it high school presentation style, minus the access to the overhead projector which means no graphs or pie charts for me. Hopefully it will go as I'm picturing it in my mind (aka borderline awesome to fully awesome) and my humorous delivery will compensate for the lack of preparedness. Hopefully.

R.

I miss the weekend

This is how I feel every Monday. The idea of starting another week is just depressing to me. It's not that I dislike my job, I just dislike responsibility. I'm in a phase where I can't sit still. Going home to "relax" after work doesn't appeal to me. But it's what I've gotta do, especially when I'm borderline broke and desperately in need of clean towels and underwear.

I'm coming up with all these plans in my head and I hope they will actually happen. For example, I really want to go to Solvang for the weekend and ride bikes from winery to winery. I've heard you can do that. It's not really drunk driving if you're on a bike, right? But maybe I should purchase a helmet. I'm also hoping it works out that I can help throw my friend Sydney a bachelorette party which will take place in West Hollywood on a tbd Friday or Saturday evening. And I want to go camping again. Among other things.

I rode the train from LA to Irvine this weekend and it reminded me of Amsterdam, aka the first place I ever took a train. And it really really made me want to be back there. The experience was different this time as I did not have an awkward encounter with a dutch train attendant because I used the bathroom while the train was stopped, which apparently is a major faux pas. "No sprecken ze deutsch" is what I should have said but I decided to go with "I'm American." That explains any act of idiocy I discovered.
I'm at the end of my day and was tired of staring at the clock waiting for my freedom, so that is really the point of this post. To keep my eyes off the clock.
RW

The name's Johnny Utah!

My favorite news headline of the morning: Wild Crowd Gets Drake and Hanson Concert Canceled. It is just me or is that the weirdest pairing for a concert ever? Seems like they would have totally different audiences. In fact, I'm imagining what actually happened involved some West Side Story like scenario between the two converging sets of fans.

This morning I drove past the theatre where Point Break Live takes place and decided that I must go again. For one reason, it's awesome. But for another, when they had people from the audience audition to play Keanu, it was all dudes. Not one girl. I want to be that girl. If I hadn't been there for my friends birthday I would have gone for it, but I didn't want to steal his thunder.

This also reminded me of this great video mash up of Reno 911! and Human Giant re-enacting a scene from Point Break. It's pretty awesome. I will post it for you since I now know how to do that. Look at me, showing off.



That's all for now.
R.

What a fun, sexy time for you

I just learned how to post videos to my blog! (see previous blog) And all it took was me googling "how do I post a video to my blog."
My coworkers daughter is graduating today...from the 8th grade. I don’t understand the idea of graduating from the 8th grade. We never made a big deal of it when I was growing up. You just finished the 8th grade and went on to the 9th without any fanfair. Same with kindergarten. I technically never graduated kindergarten because no one threw a ceremony for me. No little cap and gown, although that does sound adorable.
I'm not sure how I feel about the new Arcade fire songs Ready To Start and We Used To Wait. But that's usually what happens when I love a bands previous albums so much, I just don't ever think anything will top it. This was my thought process when Jon Stewart took over The Daily Show from Craig Kilborn. I loved CK even if my opinion has changed (new opinion- he seems like a dick). But eventually I warmed up to Jon and it left me thinking "Craig who?" Actually it didn't because I still remember who he is, but you get what I mean.
R.

To quote fake Kevin Costner "you guys are fucked"

In my past experience of spilling coffee or other liquids, paper towels really do work best. But there is something that tells me this isn't really about coffee.

I brought all the boys to the yard

I just read on IMDB that they are remaking Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead. W...t....f? Is nothing sacred? This is the movie that made me want to one day dress up like an adult and enter the workforce, all thanks to Christina Applegate's wardrobe. Sadly I only did one of those things (types the girl with unwashed hair and flip flops). And did you know the cute kid who played Zach "Cynthia, you're my moon goddess" Crandell died of a drug overdose in 2000? I found this out when I decided to do my own version of "Where are they now?" on IMDB when I was bored and found a surprising number of people I liked as a child were now dead (girl from Savannah Smiles, Mr. Belvedere, some other person I can't remember).
Rosemery just sent me a picture of Kelis at gay pride. I'm sad I missed it. As Jake says (quoting texts from last night) "my milkshake brings 80-90% of boys to the yard." I have to agree with TJ...those are pretty good odds. I only know one other song of hers, I'm Bossy, but it's pretty awesome too.
I think my favorite part of the day had to be when we were at The Abbey and it started raining confetti. I feel like a little kid just thinking about it, b/c I'm pretty sure I said something along the lines of "ooohhhh" or "wow!" and I really meant it.
It's kind of sad that I drank so many r & c's this weekend that when I just took a sip of my coke I thought it tasted funny. Because it was sans alcohol.
I'm really tired and pretty sure rather uninteresting today so I am just going to stop writing. 4 1/2 more hours until I'm back in my bed. I can't wait.
R.

I was unconscious, it was a dream

My friend Lisa submitted an application to live in these lofts in Marina Del Rey. My response: If you get that apartment, I will totally go lez for you. It reminded me of when I was in the 6th grade and we moved into a house with a pool and my parents told me to beware of people who would only want to be my friend because I had a pool. (That didn't happen, everyone had a pool, so it wasn't a strong selling point for fake friendship). Well that same sage advice would apply to Lisa in this situation. Needless to say I bet a lot of rich people live there and I don't mix well with people with money. It's like my East Texas upbringing goes into overdrive and they immediately know I'm not one of them. But that's fine, I don't need money to be happy, not as long as I have friends that have money who are going to live in awesome lofts and will let me visit.
On another note, did you know that taco bell is now selling margaritas? Well, it's actually margarita flavored drinks without the alcohol. I do not see the point in this at all. It's like when people drink non-alcoholic beer, I just don't understand drinking that swill if not to at least get a buzz? Maybe it's like an alcoholics equivalent of methadone to help wean them off the real stuff. But probably not.
Speaking of Ween (see how I did that), I remember in college going to dinner with Emily and her friend and suddenly bursting out with these lyrics to a Ween song: "There's many colors in the homo rainbow, don't be afraid to let your colors shine, shine, shine." To which Emily said afterwards "how many times to I have to tell you [insert name here] is gay?" I don't think he was offended persay, but possibly confused as I'm pretty sure he was not familiar with the song. And that is what happened.
R.

It'd be awesome if you could be my friend

It started with Lisa sending me a link to what was a picture of sad Keanu Reeves surrounded by a bunch of cats. But then I clicked on another link and it led me to my favorite, the above anime mash up. I have a feeling this is going to be one of those pictures I will randomly look at when I'm in a bad mood and it will cheer me up. Much like this one. I love it so much I had it printed and put on my fridge so I can be happy all the time.

R.

I know I'm sleeping because this dream's too amazing

What I actually went to find was this poster I had on the back of my door when I was 10 of a cat hanging from a tree and it said "Hang in there!" It was very much like something you would see in a classroom and I'm not sure why I had it but it came in handy during a fight I had with my brother that culminated with me on the other side of the door screaming at him then beating a hole in the door with a batton. That hole was never discovered until we moved out of that house so that poster definitely served it's purpose. So my point is, this is the first picture that came up when I googled "hang in there" and I think it's more fitting of my attitude on this fine Monday afternoon.

So let's begin. I need a staycation. I can't afford a vacation but I just want a week to do nothing. Or something that doesn't involve work. That's why meth addicts are so lucky, they can just go on a bender in a cheap hotel room and not have a care in the world. I shouldn't complain, work isn't bad, it's just my own personal lethargy.

For part one of Ashley and Andrea's 30th birthday festivities, we went to Malibu Family Wines in, wherelse, Malibu. I have to say, it was really beautiful and would have been completely awesome if it weren't hot as fuck. As a complainer, this did not bode well for me and I actually ended up spending more time driving to and from the winery than I did at the actual locale. Whenever it's super hot in LA, I get really pissed off and usually say something along the lines of "I left Texas to get away from this heat." That's not really why I left Texas, but was definitely a bonus when the first summer rolled around and I didn't spend it sweating to death in the humidity and getting eaten alive by bugs. The smell of Off is something I do not miss at all. I guess to sum up this bit with a positive note, this is definitely somewhere I want to go again, but maybe in the fall when it's not so unbearable. But let's be honest, I'm just a pussy and can't handle anything mildly uncomfortable.

Part two consisted of karaoke at Sardo's, which is sometimes great b/c you can get in 3-4 songs throughout the night but also sometimes not because it attracts a sketchy crowd, the type that would go to a karaoke joint set up in a Von's shopping center. It was super crowded this time and I sadly was only able to sing one song. In fact, I would post a picture of me singing except I don't know how to do that. Regardless, it really was a fun, blurry evening that I will barely remember for a long time.

I'm such a chatterbox today because I am going to keep writing. I'm having trouble prioritizing my life at this point, basically because my main priority is playing and everything else is a distant second, third, etc. But I think I'm going to change that starting a few hours ago when I decided I was going to change that. First, excercise is going to be entered back into my life. Sure the gym in my building is dark and depressing but it's what I have to use and use it I shall. I will ride the shit out of that stationary bike, you just watch me. Also eating healthier, which means actually going to the grocery store instead of going out to eat everyday. This I can do, because I have done it before. Many times in fact. I also have a list of people I've been meaning to hang out with and either a) haven't gotten around to it or b) have made plans then cancelled when it came time to follow through. I am not a multitasker unfortunately, I have room to prioritize 2-3 people in my life at the time and they usually get the bulk of my attention. I'm sure those lucky few know who they are and they should be very happy, because they are my chosen ones. And I guess last thing I need to do is to stop spending money as if I have an unlimited supply because according to my bank statement, I do not. Paycheck to paycheck is no way to live my friends, and this must change. First step- got a new check register. Second step- actual enter the money I spend into said register. Third step- don't let the balance get to zero, or worse, go into the negatives. Basically once I do all of these things, which are very easy to do and I should easily transition into this new life very smoothly, my life will be perfect. It's that simple. Right now it's pretty fucking good, but I just want to take a few extra steps to get it to great. And.....scene.
R.

Running on empty

An hour and a half until my weekend begins. Hooray. That should be read without the emphasis an exclamation mark would provide because frankly I'm too tired to be excited. I'm going to start things off by being lazy tonight, most likely curled up in my bed watching random shit on Netflix. If I know me, a few eps of King of the Hill will be involved (a new addition to Netflix on demand or whatever they call it). I'm looking forward to feeling normal again tomorrow, which for me means not tired and not hungover. I almost don't rememeber what that feels like. I've been leading a Leaving Las Vegas existence the past few days. Okay, past 2 days, don't think that counts as a bender but sure feels like one. Blogs are so funny because I'm literally talking to myself. Well writing to myself. Like an online diary. Which is much better than my actual diary where I only write depressing shit. When I'm old and senile I'm going to read it and think my life really sucked.
Here's an amusing exchange I had with my coworker yesterday and it still amuses me.
Me: Guess what I got?
Her: Your period?
Me: No, audition times for Spy Kids 4. You were way off.
Not sure if anyone else finds it funny but it did make Ashley laugh and that's gotta count for something.
I have to work some more. Only an hour and 15 mins to go.
R.

I'm straight, and I want to take his place

Funny how when I say those lyrics, it doesn't make me sound straight at all.
I'm feeling the effects of last night pretty hard but somehow I've survived the day, only to punish myself again tonight with more libations (punishment will actually only occur during first drink or two until I get a buzz then pick up the next day in the form of a hangover). Of course this is in celebration of Ashley's 30th birthday and for the occassion we are going to Barbrix in Silver Lake. I like this plan b/c it involves both food and drinking. Oh and Ashley and Randy. They're cool too. I needed a break from work so I thought I would share this sort of pointless info. With nobody. What I'm really looking forward to is the joint birthday party Ashley will be throwing with Andrea on Saturday and it will involve wine during the day and karaoke during the night. I need to start thinking of songs now before I get there and pick something lame under pressure. Oooh...Under Pressure...that might be a good one. Whatever it is, it will involve serenading my lovely "A" ladies. Thank god I'm entertaining because I can't sing for shit.
R.